Monday, August 19, 2019

Multitasking...Christmas Ornaments/Instruments of Death



I promise to not promise to be back.

At the rate I'm going, we may be looking at the new norm of one post every year-and-a-half. Or, I may simply show up in your inbox twice a day for a year-and-a-half.

It pretty much depends on how much attention I'm seeking and if I sit down to write at the exact time my morning and lunchtime meds are working in tandem. In short, IF I catch the morning meds just as they begin their descent THEN quickly take the lunchtime dose,  AND I'm in the craft room AND I open up the blog and commit to an entry which won't embarrass me (in the writing or the finished product) then, as they say, "game on b**ches"

Hey...don't judge me. I'M not the one who made the saying up. I'm just sharing it (with a very conservative amount of stars, if I say so myself) because I believe it an adequate expression of what happens when my meds, OCD, attention-seeking behavior and ability to finish something comes together and I'm able to pull a blog post with a couple of photos out of my a**.

Ouch. You people have me in full manic mode today. God help us all.

Sadly enough, I've been uninspired these past 18 months. Engaging in litigation with large corporations and government bureaucracy, such as I have, would leave much lesser people crippled with anxiety and seeing their own life span reduce itself by the hour, while trying to hold on to whatever sanity (and close relations who've heard the story, incessantly, and either changed cell phone numbers or moved in the dead of night to begin a new life under assumed names and with the full protection of shady government agencies and Liam Neeson) that they have left.

Me? Hell. I just slept through most of it.

But now that it's behind me, I'm feeling at a loss for what to do with myself. All of those hours spent with attorneys, government employees and other minions of Satan, are now empty.

Who'd have ever thought one could miss the pervasive and constant smell of brimstone?

Anyway, here I am once again with all of you. At least, those of you who weren't purchased through Fiverr to boost my blog subscription numbers in an attempt to make the 5 actual subscribers think they were part of a hip and popular blog. Of which NOW, after I've gone down several rabbit holes, I find I have NO idea what in the devil I was going to blog about!

OH! Crap. That's right. Christmas and Death. Got it! Let's go...

These are called “Cheeky Snowballs” and were created by Nichola Battilana at Pixie Hill. Here’s her YouTube video tutorial.






The tutorial made it look easy and, truth be told, I felt I was on a ROLL! Granted, I found the noses and mouths challenging, but when the clay dried, I daresay I was pleased. Then I was ready for the glitter.

It took a bit to find my Tim Holtz Stickles glitter. Funny how it keeps making its way around my craft room. I'm sure this mysterious movement owes itself to lingering, powerful effects of my recent Spring Solstice gathering and not to any human intervention. Namely, the husband and kids.

PAM (Pre-Adderall Moment) If you're a newbie to the blog, allow me to explain. I have 3 boys; 4 if you count the husband. Even the dog is male. I use so much glitter, it circulates through the house. I've caught it sneering at the high-end air filters we install. This glitter tends to attach itself only to the Y Chromosomes. Apparently, this is a problem for male teens. Because of this, I tend to "lose" a lot of glitter. Fortunately, I keep a stash in the magazine rack under my Better Homes and Garden magazines. I USED to keep it under my Cosmopolitan mags, but the boys (along with the spousal unit, I'm sure) kept rifling through them to look for dirty pictures. At least I HOPE they were. If they were taking the quizzes, then glitter theft is the least of my worries. Sorry...back to regularly scheduled programming.

SO...I finally found the glitter and set it on my desk. Next morning, I grabbed glue, my paintbrush and went to work putting glue on half the ornament. I dropped the brush and looked for the glitter and it was GONE. Panicking, I looked quickly over, behind and around the desk. Nothing. I delved into my glitter stash and I saw a beautiful clear sparkling glitter. Fortunately, I was able to glitter the ornament before it dried. And it was GORGEOUS!!!



I quickly did the others. I didn't want to wait for them to dry, so I started again with the first and glittered the other half. I was truly thrilled.

Leaving them to dry, I brushed the excess glitter off my hands. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pinch and looked down. There was a spot of blood on my hands! And that, my friends, is where I realized that THIS was the glitter I'd used. 




I think you can see my dilemma. The snowmen look gorgeous with this glitter! But I'm hesitant to give one as a gift to a friend or family member and have them inadvertently slice off a limb or puncture a carotid artery. 

I hate to say that this was my first and (at the behest of local Law Enforcement due to possible weapon’s violations) my last attempt at creating these cuties. 

But I HIGHLY recommend the tutorial and the glitter. 

Just not together, perhaps.


Ingredients:

(This doesn't shrink and crack as much as Paper Clay, I've found. Easier to mold.)


3" Styrofoam Balls

Acrylic Paint









4 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, is it really you! I miss reading your adventures (thanks for the heads up about glass in glitter) and seeing your fabulous creations. I love how your brain works!!! Please don't leave it for another 18 months. Xx

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  2. OMG!!!! I am so glad you are back. I have missed you so much. Thank you so much for bringing a smile back into my life!!!!!

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  3. Good to see you back with your fabulous artwork and wonderful sense of humor! These are so crazy and love the faces. Fabulous job on noses and mouths too! Hope to see you more often now.

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  4. I couldn't believe it when this popped up in my mail! WELCOME back. I hope that it's not nearly that long till your next post. I did miss reading about your adventures and seeing your creations. Yeah gotta be careful with the glass glitter, but it's sooo pretty and sparkly!

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