Thursday, January 16, 2020

JUGs Trend Week #518 Create DIMENSION (Shaving NOT Required!)






Ok Ok Ok...I'm going to TRY to be as coherent as possible. But it's just that I'm so EXCITED! And I know that you, as my close confidantes and support systems will want to be excited for me so we can just be excited with each other all over the place!

Ahem. Well...you know what I mean.

Alright, look...I know I purchased over half of you from Fiverr when it was allowed a couple of years ago but let's just move past that already and embrace each other. Figuratively. I'm a little iffy regarding human contact, lately. It's either a fear of becoming too close too people emotionally or catching tuberculosis. I'm working it out in therapy.

I DID consider therapy for awhile. Primarily because it's the only way I can get someone to actually listen to me. Granted, the teens and young adult in my home are legally deaf to me and will remain so until the age of 40, or until their first child hits puberty. And it's quite normal for the Spousal Unit to also meet the federal qualifications for hearing impaired when it comes to his wife's voice. But the Unit should also be equipped to nod and mumble agreement on a regular basis. Just enough for his wife to forget the 20 gauge shotgun in the closet would make for a great "attention getter".

Lately, however, my Unit has doing none of that. It's not even trying. After a month of watching it surreptitiously (Fine. So it wasn't such a reach when all it did was sit in the recliner watching TV, only to break for sustenance or a conference call from work it could nap through.), I finally picked up on the fact he was acting suspiciously and in a manner I would definitely type as "intimate" with another woman.

Alright. So the "other woman" is that Fox News Morning Show blonde girl. But I'm telling you his behavior is still disturbing and I stand by the word "intimate". When I say intimate, it's in the worst way. He pays attention to every word she says, laughs on cue and remembers the names of ALL her children.

He barely remembers the names of ours and he named them.

Don't get me wrong. I acknowledge the blonde on the FMS is a hottie but trust a man to miss what's really important about that woman. And that's the fact that blondie can somehow sit on that couch for hours, five days a week, with her legs crossed, pantyhose perfect, dress form-fitted to show she has not an ounce of fat despite having children and miraculously has not been assaulted by some random female(s) whose husband(s) hang on their every word she says, laughs on cue and know the names of her children while forgetting his own.

But I honestly don't mind. His distraction saves me enormous amounts of time. I no longer have to break my concentration or stop work to answer some silly question like "Who is going to pick up the kids from school?" and "Are you going to the grocery store?" And the all-time fave "What's for dinner?" (Answer Key: You, No, Whatever app you order from.)

I really don't even care that he changed his whole daily routine for her. He used to get up early and get ready to take the kids to school. Now, since one is driving and takes care of the other, the Unit sleeps in a bit and takes a really, really long shower when she goes off the air, which is honestly not like him at...

...not like...

...like...

....not like something I can't live with!!!

Yep. I can live with it. Just like I can live with my hairy legs. And he can too.

It's either the hair or he can put the razor in my hand.

And with that I believe the charges drop a degree or two.

Now, speaking of excitement...I present THIS! My CARD!!!

I said, my CARD. Does this mean nothing to you people?

You KNOW I rarely make cards. I'm a mixed media/assemblage girl. The majority of you gals can do card after beautiful card and I'm so envious. So, I challenged myself this month, to make every other project-be it challenges or for my Technique Junkies DT work-to be card based. And for the Just Us Girls Create Dimension Challenge, I did just that.

Using an Impression Obsession stamp named Lanterns designed by the uber-talented Dina Kowal, I stamped and heat embossed it on glossy cardstock I'd colored with alcohol ink. Then I fussy cut the lanterns.

Using rice paper and Distress reinkers, I created a panel that is actually slanted. There are three layers of tape at the top and one at the bottom. Nice effect. Created tassels for the lanterns and alternated the heights between 1, 2 and 3 layers of mounting tape.

I have NO idea what the Asian symbol is. I hope it's not offensive. But I drew it on my buddy Tim's finding, copying it off a piece of designer paper. And that's it!

I'm also entering this at Splitcoast Stampers:

MIX363 Mixability Challenge Slick Stamping
SC784 Sketch Challenge




Saturday, January 4, 2020

THE GIVEAWAY!!!

AND HERE YOU ARE!!!

I'm so proud of you!! You're doing a tremendous job of listening! I've pretty much decided to replace my children with you, so get to packing! 

Oh, I'm just kidding. As if your significant others would survive my offspring for even 24 hours. Then you and I would feel terrible...not to mention possibly be facing manslaughter charges for agreeing to the swap in the first place. 

As we ALL know, today is GIVEAWAY DAY!

Naturally, being that this is my first stab at doing something like this, I had a learning curve or twelve to deal with.

The most important was to give a TIME to end the giveaway. So, by default, the giveaway has to end at 11:59 on January 3rd, which is why you're receiving this post on the 4th.

Secondly, for the record, I was the one who won my giveaway on the first three draws. Therefore, I will refrain from answering posts on giveaway days.

NOW, my friends...the story of "The Giveaway(s)" (yes...more to come...within 48 hours, as a matter of fact).

When we built our home on a postage stamp-sized lot, I said "To Hades with a dining room! No one EVER uses a dining room when they have an eat-in kitchen and 3 young y-chromosomes who will scale the drain pipes and jump to the ledges of their second-floor bedrooms in order to eat in their beds.

I have to say it took me awhile to catch on to the fact they were consuming mass quantities of edibles in their little hibernating spaces-because every bit of food left over they made sure to either consume on subsequent nights OR they made sure to vacuum up, so their rooms were ALWAYS free of food particles!

Dictionary:
vac·u·um
/ˈvakˌyo͞o(ə)m/

Noun 

1:a machine that sucks up food debris from rooms inhabited mostly by y-chromosomes.


"I had to make sure to get the vacuum to take care of the Ding Dong I crushed into the carpet 2 weeks ago."




Sorry...back to my house plans that were keeping you enthralled, I'm sure.

I walled in the dining room and made a study. Well, actually, a playroom, since the kids were small.

When they got older and began to secrete oil and smell...interestingly...and slunk off to their rooms to grow in darkness like the darling little...fungi...they were that I decided to conscript a small portion of the room (a card table and 3 drawer unit from Michaels) and begin stamping.

I began by calling this room from whence all of my artistic endeavors did manifest "The Craft Room"

Several years later, I decided that the name was too casual; too folksy. I felt I was starting to really churn out art. So, I renamed it "The Art Studio".

What I didn't realize was that my snot-nosed children/spotted fungi had their own name for my sacred space. 

"Hell's Labyrinth"

Oh, wait. There's more.

"Satan's Spa from Hell"

and

"Hell's Hellacious Hell" 

(now they were just saying it because they liked saying Hell)

But they came up with it based on what is now my craft...art....oh...Hell.




Bet you didn't even notice the "vacuum" in the left hand corner, did you?


(The project I'm working on is the paperweight at the bottom of the desk. You may wonder how I work in that tiny space. Yeah. Well. So do I.)

I guess I would have gone to seek some type of redress against them but it does get a little difficult to...ah...ahem...disentangle myself from my room and its materials.

So, the next couple of days, all I hear from the y-chromosomes (to include the spousal unit, who should KNOW by this time to NEVER pick sides...or even SPEAK when it comes to my hobbies, especially when he plays golf and I know for a fact that ONE of his putters is from some Scotty guy and starts at 4 figures) is that I should sell lots of stuff on ebay. You know, cut my losses and take the cash. The spousal unit really liked this idea.

Number one: I HATE selling stuff on ebay.
Number two: I will NOT give them the satisfaction.
Number three: I love you ladies
Number four: I wanted YOU to have it.
Number five: I loved the look on their faces when I told them what I was doing and the retail cost of the packages. 

All right...all right.  The winner???

Carol

WOOT WOOT! Please send your address to papercraftgoddess@gmail.com


But Wait! There's more...

Due to the utterly abysmal turnout AND the fact I need a little more space, I'm sending the rest of you something as well. So, I have lovely runner-up prizes for:

Dee 
Beth 
Judy 
Patti 
Nancy

PLEASE be so kind as to send me your address to the email above. Look at it as a kindness to me. (Believe me...this is only the BEGINNING of a guilt trip...for being Gentiles, my mother could throw a guilt trip that had Jewish mothers taking notes so don't get me started ladies!) Thank you for your understanding. Mmmmwahhhh!

Oh! And before I forget...I've got another awesome giveaway (aka "getting rid of more sh*t in this horror of a room) coming up in 2 days. AND I'll tell you this...get someone to sign up and tell me you're the one responsible in the comments section and you'll both get FIVE entries. Sign up two and they'll get five and you'll get ten. And so on and so on!

Have a wonderful weekend and I'll see you on Monday with even MORE goodies!!!





Friday, January 3, 2020

January 3rd Giveaway UPDATE!

Well, I'm definitely NOT smarter than the average bear. Since I didn't specify a TIME, I'll have to go with 11:59 this evening. Therefore, the post with the winners name will go out at 12:01 a.m. on the 4th EST.

Now...to the SIX people who have been kind enough to say hi in the comments.

I KNOW by TJ teammates and a few others never had intentions of entering the draw but too bad, so sad. You're in it.

Next thing, while we're waiting for 11:59 and the wonderfully written, hysterically funny, touching, etc. etc. blog post I've written containing the name of the grand prize winner, I've decided to send all 6 of you something because you're all such lovely people and I have GOT to get rid of all this stuff want to show you how much you mean to me and show you my thanks. SO-

Please send your mailing addresses to:
papercraftgoddess@gmail.com

And yes...even you...you...Mounties! Or Canoeists! Or Canhooks! 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT CUTSIE NAME IT IS YOU'RE CALLED AND IT'S STRESSING ME OUT! 

Seriously...I can't remember it.

Canadians. There. You people. Send me your addresses. 

WAY too much work, people! 

Ok. While I'm packing fun stuff for you and you're sending me your mailing addys, I'm hoping you'll enjoy my next post and project for Technique Junkies! xoxo

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

TECHNIQUE JUNKIES BLOG HOP MADNESS!! (And I Give LOTS of Stuff Away!!)




Ok, people. Look. We have a LOT of ground to cover today. You have GOT to keep up. 

I know...you are absolutely blown away that I'm the one staying on-task. Trust me when I say that I'm a little amazed myself! But apparently this is the outcome when you double up on the ol' ADHD medication (by ACCIDENT, thankyouverymuch) then decide a stop at Starbucks is in order. 

I swear, I'm wound so tight I feel like I could run a 10k, chase down and hog tie a bunch of New York Democrats and extricate Mitch McConnell's head from his "ace", as we tend to pronounce it here in the Piedmont area of North Carolina.

Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration.

But I could definitely walk a 10k!

Oh no I don't! I'm not getting off track! Let's get started. First of all, I'm on my FIRST Design Team. (Raucous cheering in background) I know! I'm thrilled too!!! OMG!

Technique Junkies should be a familiar name to you. They've been on my radar for quite a few years and I've been a customer for as many. The fact I was asked to be on their design team honestly floored me. I never thought I'd ever be good enough to be asked to fill a spot on this team with these talented ladies and I don't think it has sunk in yet. But I'm honored and humbled. And I'm truly, truly grateful.

So all of you please go and buy stuff from them now.

Thank you. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Now, Technique Junkies is offering 15% off their NEW RELEASES until the 8th.  PAY ATTENTION NOW...THIS IS IMPORTANT. Like I said, 15% off automatically. However, you can use MY 10% off link at the top and get ANOTHER 10% off!! I KNOW!! Aren't you glad I made you pay attention???? Now you can really get a deal on this beauty, Bird and Letter Collage, that I made into a little clock, using embossing powder and a 5 x 5 canvas from the craft store!!


OR you can pick up THIS sentiment stamp that I stamped and cut apart and had my way with...HAH!



Love this dimensional paperweight! I found an old paperweight, used the sentiment stamp Who and What, used the flag and Rosie images (free!!) and it's headed out to my (step) DAUGHTER Danielle! 

I PROMISE I'll have tutorials on both up soon. But hey! You're smart humans...you can figure them out if you get impatient before I get a chance to post them. Right? Right!!



Next...I want you to get inspired by these lovely ladies! Here are the new release posts from the rest of the Technique Junkies as we launch our first blog hop of 2020!!!

OK!!!

Now...for the "Petite" Giveaway!

Only 2 requirements. You must be follower of my blawg and leave a comment. That's it. I'll use Robokiller or Robocop or Rococo or whatEVER the name of that number generator is and the winner will receive the following:





Stampin Up! Cardstock Pretty in Pink
150 pc Flat Back Rhinestones
Watercolor Water Brush
Tim Holtz Stacked Words Valentine Die
7 Gypsies Recipe Cards
Graphic 45 6 x 6 Come Away With Me
2 Bead Gallery Bead Strands
2 Tim Holtz Burlap Panels
1 Authentique Paper Pack 6 x 6
Graphic 45 Cheers Party Celebrate Tags
Tim Holtz Halloween Embossing Folder
Dylusions Journaling Tags

Unfortunately, this contest is only open to participants in the US. Boo. Hiss.

Oh, fine. If you win and you're international, I'll put something together for you that's REALLY, REALLY LIGHT. Then I'll draw again for a US resident for the main prize. Are you happy now???

The things I do for love. I am SUCH a fabulous person. Mmwahh. Mmwahh. Hug. Pat. "Oh, you ARE the greatest! Yes you are, punkin! Just the best!"

Oh! Sorry. I just needed a moment of alone time with myself, there.

Winner announced and an ever bigger prize coming up on the 3rd so do NOT delete the email when it comes. Oooohhhh, and don't think I don't know that you've done it before. But let's not quibble. I'm just saying don't do it on the 3rd. It'll be then you'll discover WHY I'm doing this in the first place...and it ain't just to grow my blog numbers. Here's a hint...or three:

1-My boys.
2-Product/Possession-shaming.
3-Hell.

That's all you're getting til the 3rd.

Now go and hop some blogs (that sounds mildly dirty, doesn't it?) and buy some Technique Junkies stamps. Click through on my discount so you get the EXTRA 10% on top of the 15%! No code needed for the 15%...it'll be there waiting. Go...buy...and I'll see you on the 3rd!


Tuesday, December 3, 2019

IO Challenge Holiday Wishes "Joy in Copper Mobile"



For this Impression Obsession challenge, Holiday Wishes, I had a little copper left, along with the bright idea to try a few things I hadn’t tried before. 

Lesson number one: trying new things is good. Trying new things with a thin metal that slices through skin in a way that makes paper cuts seem like a rocking good time, is not good.


Lesson Number two: using die cuts to cut images from copper makes a nice change to always using them to cut images from paper. Using intricate die cuts on copper means that you must stuff your Big Shot so full of paper shims that you must enlist help from your entire family; half to hold the machine and the other half to crank it the approximately 27 times it will take to get the cuts deep enough. This can take some time, especially when you happen to have all Y Chromosomes on the job and whose hands will "accidentally" keep slipping from the crank, right when it is at its tightest. The result is the crank rocketing back with such force that the unsuspecting ones still holding the crank will lose their grip and end up with bruised knuckles and cracked wrists, much to the great hilarity of the rest of the pack. I tolerate it because-and only because-don’t have to do it. 



I believe I've already addressed-in toto-the potential liabilities of using blow torches to heat copper, starting with the trip to any craft store and simply asking for a blow torch. But I have an actual positive to share today, friends. 
I’d been heating copper using the torch function. See, when you ignite a hand torch, you get a soft flame. Then you engage the torch which will turn your copper colors. It's very difficult though because it happens so quick that you end up with the metal turning silver (called scaling-caused when you overheat metal) too quickly and you bypass all the warm colors. This time, I just used the soft flame, not the torch. Took a few minutes but worth it. Totally pleased. 
And, for the record, you can emboss copper! Which I did before heating. 
And hence, my Holiday Wish for you. 
Joy. 


I also wish for the Spirit of Christmas to fill your homes and your hearts! (Along with a a different type of spirit to fill your eggnog and keep it full of another type of joy. Heh heh) 

Merry Happy Chanukah Christmas!

Ingredients:











Monday, November 18, 2019

Impression Obsession Challenge "So Thankful"







As an artist, I believe I'm entering my experimental phase. I went into this challenge by setting by creating my own challenge within the Impression Obsession challenge of "So Thankful". My challenge to myself was that I had to use 2-3 elements. Being the overachiever that I am, I ended up with 4. Water, wood, stone and metal.

YAY ME! 

I'm not sure why I'm so happy about it. It's not like I'm going to give myself any gifts or anything. 
Or am I?
 Hmmmmm. 

IO Stamps has this Poinsettia Frame Die I've been wanting for quite a bit, so it might be a nice gift for myself for winning my challenge that I made for me and only me.

I'm kind of liking this new challenge I just created for myself!

I know. You'd be "So Thankful" if I'd get to the card, right? There's always a comedian in the group, isn't there. Fine.

I used Daniel Smith watercolor on my basket of apples, which is one of my fave new IO stamps. Using birch wood 'paper', I cut a circle, darkened it with Vintage Photo Distress Ink then set it back into the panel flush after popping the panel up with tape. 

Next, I used the die "Thankful" from IO and cut it from copper. Then, I used my Link torch to heat it until it changed colors. You can do it with a heat gun if you have about 7-1/2 years to spare, but I'll take the torch every time. Not only does it take mere seconds to get results, I'm rarely bothered by the spousal unit, kids OR the dog while the torch is anywhere within my reach. 

Ahhh. The benefits of butane.

Lastly, I wanted to use the sentiment on the card but needed contrast. NOTHING looked right. I was digging through a junk drawer when I saw a very beautiful, dark brown, thin agate I'd purchased when mining for gemstones. It's supposedly native to North Carolina. Not that I really cared, to be completely honest. I didn't give a rat's hind end if it came from the caves of the Taliban. It was cool looking and I needed contrast, people!

Using glue dots, I placed the sentiment over the rock and mentally patted myself on the back. It had to be mental because if I'd tried to do it physically, I'd have dislocated a shoulder and missed this challenge AGAIN.

Until the next challenge in which I create another challenge within to challenge myself so that I may win and give myself more prizes, I bid you adieu.

Recipe:





Wednesday, November 13, 2019

JUGs #513 Anything But a Card-Soldering Mini Album-Magnet-Ornament






Now...BEFORE we get to the entry below...(the one whose title alone simply gives me the shivers...I do believe it's the most poetic and beautiful I've ever created) I'd like to turn your attention to one of my fave challenges. 

Just Us Girls is hosting "Anything But a Card". So, let's rock and roll! I made a mini album for a friend. Which isn't the entry, by the way. Using the glass from 2 identically sized cheap frames, I enclosed fussy cut pictures (Graphic 45 Birdsong-which is BACK in stock, btw!!) along with Dresden scrap, mica flakes and a real set of butterfly wings. Then I distressed everything I could. Using copper tape, I taped around the edges then applied silver solder, adding the artwork around the edges. Taking 2 brass pieces, I bent and soldered them onto the top and bottom, then soldered 2 pieces of moonstone rosary chain to the top and bottom.


I was determined that this piece would serve 2 purposes. I'd never seen an elaborate piece like this on the front of any mini album. But I thought it would be a waste to just E6000 it to the front and just let it sit there. So, I attached 2 large, flat magnets under the paper on the front of the album and 2 to the back of the piece. Now, she could lift it away and attach it to something metal or hang it. That being said, next time, I'm going to experiment with magnets hidden between the papers on the detachable piece. I may have to use 4-6 of the tiny magnets, but it may work! We'll see. ;)



LOVE THIS CHALLENGE! Ty JUGs!






Spousal Unit, Psych Meds and Gravy


The Spousal Unit found me weeping quietly with my head on my laptop. He knew something was wrong. He'd called me to dinner three times already. Being that the meal included copious amounts of gravy and I'd not appeared to cut a roll in half and load it up with mashed potatoes and gravy to make my concoction with the uninspired name of "Mashed Potatoes and Gravy Sandwich", the unit knew that something had occurred to rock my world. And not in a good way. Because there is no freaking way I would allow anything to stand in the way of gravy.

However, knowing this to be the case, he looked only mildly concerned with my non-response. There was no worry in the eyes of the man I'd married. But there was plenty of time for me to be angry and plot revenge. There were bigger things in my world at this moment.

"What’s wrong?" he said, already chewing on a chicken leg. 
"He’s back!", I cried. "And I can’t find my font! And he won’t let me go until I do!". 
"Oh."my husband said, still chewing. "Uh, I thought those new meds...", 
"No!" I whispered, "He was just lying in wait. You know that’s how he rolls!" 
My husband nodded and begin backing slowly out of the room. "I’ll save dinner for you then."  

He began taking step by slow step out of the door
“Wait!” I called.
He stopped, foot in mid air.
“Put everything on the plate I like except for the gravy. Put it in the little plastic bowl and set it on the plate.”

Apparently, this was the moment fight or flight kicked in. He opted for flight.

As if he could outrun the crazy.

“Saran wrap,” I yelled “not foil! You know he doesn’t like foil!”

Many of you… And by that I mean the two or three who aren’t relatives (whom I’ve conditioned to read this blog using Pavlov's method of treats and electric shock) may have an idea as to what has occurred. I’m talking about him and his most cruel and exacting presence.
Yes. You're right. He was back.

OCD.

I’m pretty sure we’d all gotten too confident he’d been banished by the last adjustment to my pharmaceutical cornucopia. For a year now, I'd been able to walk away from towels not folded in thirds, I could eat off of paper plates without portion dividers and could also thumb my nose at the kitchen table migration from under the hanging light that I used to confirm the table was in the dead center of the room.

In short, I was free.

But last night, he stole back into my life. Quietly. Then, he waited. If there's irony to be had, he'll wait for it. And irony, there was. It was the font. That's right, the font, appropriately named Minion Pro-515.

You see, when I came back to you after my two-year sabbatical, I had to re-learn certain things. One of those things dealt with the pictures I would upload for your perusal. After I'd posted several pictures, it occurred to me that I'd forgotten to put my name and blog on the photographs. It didn't take too long to remember how I'd done it previously.

I typed my name and began looking for the font I'd used previously. It was a pseudo-whimsical font but with a modicum of structure. It said “fun and carefree and not too self-absorbed with her art but one who would make sure her creation was to the best of her ability without behaving like she has a stick up her butt about the whole thing“

You didn’t know a font could say all that, did you?

I tried every font that Paint AND Adobe offered. After an hour, I knew I was in trouble. Having no other choice but self-immolation (which, since I'd survived this miserable summer, just seemed "too soon"), I sent it to the spousal unit so that he could use skills to pull the layers apart and identify my font. When he found it, I started searching. But out of the millions of Minion fonts, there was NO 515! There weren't ANY fonts that said "fun and carefree and not too..." 

Well, I won’t put us through that again. You’re welcome.

After an hour, I called the unit (who was upstairs, supposedly working but actually watching the golf channel) and asked for his help. 5.2 seconds elapsed before he yelled "515 isn't available anymore but Papyrus is almost identical to it!"

And that, my friends, is what led me all the way back to the beginning of this ridiculously detailed post.

It didn’t take OCD long to tighten his claws on my shoulders and begin to whisper words of evil like "Papyrus" doesn’t look a &^%^& thing like Minion Pro–515!" to "Now you just look like one of the billions of bloggers out there. No fonts exist anymore that say "fun and carefree and not too..."

Well...once again...You're welcome.

Not to mention, I feel like my nemesis-"He Who Shall Not Be Named" was somehow triggered by the unavailability of my beloved font. Therefore, a lawsuit against Adobe could very well be a possibility. Perhaps some legal action against J.K. Freaking Rowling, as well. She made gazillions using that moniker for fun. But this is my LIFE.

It's also a choice between a meltdown or gravy. And I think we know the outcome of that. Gravy can soothe most any heart, mind and soul.

Even the virtually nonexistent soul of OCD.

Welcome back, you b***ard.