Saturday, June 6, 2020

Vintage Imagery ATC's Triptych







For this ATC swap, I chose a Beauty and the Beast theme.

I named it...ahem..."Beastly Seduction". 

No, wait...that's the title of the new book I'm reading. I'm sure that's a copyright violation. Let me try again.

How about "Beast Leaving Hairs on the Couch While Beauty Readies Her Fan to Discipline Him".

Oh, crap. NOW I’m thinking that’s the opening line of my aforementioned book. I guess I could check, but I don’t feel like climbing under my bed to retrieve said book from the hollowed out part of my mattress, hidden behind the third slat from the headboard.

Not to mention it was a little on the wordy side, anyway.

Let me try one more time.

"Beauty and the Beast: You, Me and Hairs All OVER the Couch”.

Oh, good Lord, people. Just make up a name and go get your own book! And while you're at it, stop making me dance like an organ-grinder's monkey!

You know, that just brought back a VERY early memory. When I was a child, I actually SAW an organ grinder and dancing monkey! I was about 5-years-old. My parents had taken me to a local fair to temporarily distract from a new little brother, who’d just arrived to usurp my place as ruler of house, home and all things “Grandparent”.

Whoa! Sorry. I’ll get into that at a later date once I’ve worked it out in therapy.

Now, where was I?

Yes! Organ grinder and dancing monkey.

As we left the fair, there was a man who had a large...well...organ...on a stick (I swear...this is no double entendre...unless you want it to be... no judgement here, my friends) and he had a little monkey on a leash

The monkey was wearing a tiny cap and jacket and cavorted to the music. He also carried a little, pewter cup. If you held out a coin, that adorable little monkey would come take it from your hand, drop it in his little cup, then tip his little cap to you.

Being "me", I couldn't resist touching thar monkey! He looked so soft! And I’d never seen a monkey so close. So, I reached out and stroked its little arm. The monkey bared its teeth and made as if to bite me. I was terrified! Turning to my mother, I tearfully screamed, “You tell that man to spank his monkey!”

It was my father who grabbed me and quickly moved us along as the mean-monkey-owning-man guffawed loudly.

And I never understood why.

Is it me or do you fell like you need a shower just reading this far into the post? I swear, this is the dirtiest, non-dirty entry, I've ever written.

The takeaway so far is twofold: Avoid all things “monkey” like the plague. The second is that you have a very dirty mind.

I knew there was something I liked about you!






4 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness!!!! The recepient of this is going to be very lucky. Your work always amazes me!! Your commentary was so funny

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    1. You're such a sweetheart Beth! TY! Sorry I haven't kept in touch...I've been a little busy falling to pieces physically. I promise I'll catch up! ❤

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  2. I found you through Design Junkies. I am WAY behind on reading email but I realized there was only 1 team member whose writing made me snort my beverage up my nose. I am now your newest follower and am spending the day reading all your non TJ posts. OMGoodness, you seriously need to write for a publication! Keep it coming!!! ๐Ÿงก

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    1. Hi Karen! I'm so glad you're here! I find most people feel better when they read my blog posts. It reminds them that it could always be worse. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Seriously...I'm flattered. I'm working on an ebook. I HOPE to have it published this fall. And don't worry that you'll miss it; I'll be plugging the bejeezus out of it. HAH!

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